It will take time

Let’s see what is it about time that is so important to living-breathing things?
If you look around you, no matter what part of the world you live in, there is nature around you.
And everything that is alive evolves in cycles and stages.
Everything that is a being has different stages in its evolution. Plans for example have periods when they grow like crazy, then they don’t seem to grow at all. Some periods they even look like they are dead and then grow again in a new cycle.
Animals have their own reproductive and growth cycle. Each species is guided by different rules but they always respect certain patterns.
Although we don’t want or we don’t like to accept this, but our entire lives are built on a biological being.
Us being human does not mean that we are not subject to the laws of the biological evolution as other species.
We think of ourselves as machines that work through our rational mind and we just won’t accept that our biology needs some attention too.
When we want to make a change in our lives or our habits for example, we expect it to happen almost instantly if possible.
Well it is not.
Every change that we want to make happens through this biological law of stages. Change is a journey that happens step by step.
If we cannot accept this, our entire life will be a fight between the natural rhythm of evolution and our rational expectations.
I will say it again: changes take time.
If you want to make a change, you need to assume this, and you need to be aware of it until you manage to make the change.
This is one of the reasons why change is not easy. Because it takes time and us adults don’t have patience for change to happen.
We want it all at once and if it is not happening the way we expect it, we give up or we start a war with ourselves.
No matter how hard you try, changing a habit has several steps:
1. You need to become aware of it
First things first. To change a habit you need to understand it in its complexity. A habit is not an act, it is a complex action that starts with a need. A feeling. Then it transforms into an action, then it comes with remorse, blame or other unpleasant feelings.
If you want to change something that complex in an efficient way, the easiest path is to first study it, understand the way it works.
2. You need to find an alternative (a better-one of course)
If you want to change a habit, you need to do something with that empty “space”. If you want to change a way you react, how would you want yourself to react? If you manage money badly, how would you want the new way to be? If you behave in a certain way with women, how would the alternative be?
3. You need to understand the benefits of the old habit
Yeah of course, a bad habit does not have benefits. Your brain is not doing things for nothing. It always have a positive intent, it is always trying to accomplish something with it.
If you can’t understand the purpose of a bad habit, the benefit it brings, you fight will be in vain. It will either come back, or it will change into something else that gives your brain the same benefit.
It would be really useful to know the benefit and then offer yourself that something intentionally so that the old habit is not useful anymore.
Let me give you an example.
Procrastination is seen as something really, really bad.
But procrastination has its benefits: maybe you can do it better after you gather some new info, you might not need to do it later, you take a break, you do something relaxing, you can do something else instead and so on.
Some people only take a break when they are procrastinating.
Some people would become machines if their brain wouldn’t procrastinate for them.
But if you go back to point 1 in this list, you will understand that awareness grants you the clarity you need to see the benefits.
If you study your bad habit, you will understand its benefits and you can then create something different.
For example, if you procrastinate to do something relaxing or pleasant, maybe you could offer yourself the time to do it in an organized manner so you don’t need to procrastinate for it.
We are not machines. We are living-breathing beings and we have our needs and desires. We can educate them, but it takes time.
4. Find new habits that fulfill the benefits
As I told you before, you could find the benefits and then you could find a solution to obtain them without the bad habit.
This requires patience and wisdom and caring for yourself.
If you are planning on becoming a machine, then please stop reading these articles, they won’t help you.
If you want to awaken you higher human aspects, then this website is all yours.
5. Work on your habits until you manage to change them
Of course there is a number of repetitions needed to change a habit, as I said before.
How many?
There are no rules for this. According to studies, it depends on the habits complexity, the already existing habits, you will, your schedule, the people around you and so on.
Don’t delude yourself with easy and quick results.
If you can deal with this, then you can really make a change.
If you really want to become a man, then these are rules that you need to face and to bear.
If you want to build a relationship with a woman, these are rules that govern any relationship and any change.
Do you want to become a man? Deal with the idea that change takes time.
See you with the next law that says: “You will forget.”